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Are You Double Dipping?

ddippinI remember a little while back someone emailing me wanting some advice on how you can tell when someone you’re dating is seeing other guys and having sex with them too.

Hey, I know the drill….you’re starting to feel good about him, your connecting in amazing ways, you don’t use your teeth when you’re giving you know what and BOOM, he drops the BOMB that he’s dating other guys and sleeping with them too.

Hey, whatever you do in your bedroom, is so OK by me – what’s NOT OK is when you’re not being clear and upfront with him at the beginning by letting him know you are seeing different guys and that you are (or not) sexually active with them.

Guys, it really boils down to this. If you are dating to meet your ideal man and think that you will do it by double dipping your dip stick, you’ve got another thing coming. The thing you will get closer to is an STD or right back where you started when you were completely single.

Sounds rough, huh?

Well, it is, but someone has to give you the cosmic 2×4 upside your love box so you can begin to see why that strategy doesn’t work anymore. Also, you will start see how this might kinda upset the poor dude you’ve been keeping secrets from.

OK – I know I was a bit rough, but remember, I love you and will give you huge bear hug AND a little strategy on how you can show up in all honesty.

So, here’s your <HUG> and here’s your strategy : )

Your Simple Strategy

OK -what is one of the most powerful values you can practice when dating a potential boyfriend?

A value that stands the test of time in any relationship. Need a hint?

Begins with a “C.” No, NOT that!

It’s COMMUNICATION.

If you are not communicating honesty right up front, why would your “potential beau” have any reason to trust you in a relationship?

Interesting, huh?

When you first meet someone and it starts to develop into more of a consistent dating thing, somewhere between your 3th and 5th date and before SEX, you should tell your guy that you are seeing different people, because that just how you roll or how you like to search for your partner or whatever seems right wording for you.

Ahem – yes – this is when you tell him you’re also sleeping with them too. This will give your guy the opportunity to make a fast get-away or stay and listen. Chances are, since you were so upfront he’ll probably stick around and explore things further. And not only that, doesn’t it feel EMPOWERING? You are going to be such a stud now, because you’re wearing your honesty briefs…YUM!

Like I said, if you are truly seeking your true love, your homeboy or your life partner, this strategy will help you get miles closer. And this may not be EARTH SHATTERING advice, but sometimes all it takes is a little validation and permission to do what you’ve always wanted to do…be HONEST!

Greg HalpenAbout the Author: Greg Halpen is an internationally known and recognized, author and speaker. He takes single gay men step-by-step from Lost, Confused, and Frustrated About Dating to Learning all the Skills You Need to Turn Your Love Life Around 100% www.TheGayGuysLoveCoach.com

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  • Trey Zinbox

    Excellent article and web page

  • David DAVEDJ Wolf

    Righteous good advice and interesting to read and not too preachy – right to the point! Thank You out!
    DCW

  • Roy

    What is one of the most powerful values you can practice when dating a potential boyfriend? It’s COMMUNICATION. I agree totally on this. I was in an 8 month relationship that started out good. Then there was a split over something stupid…too much liquor and another guy for him. We were apart for two months. We have hooked up again and have a new and better understanding of each other. The idea of being honest and having open communication has made that possible. Who knows what time will bring, but right now we tell each other everything, and agree to let each other know each others feelings.

    • Greg Halpen

      Hi, Roy!

      Good for you for bringing communication to the table! Keep it up! Remember, telling each other everything doesn’t always mean healthy communication. Make sure your NEEDS are being met!

      Good luck, Roy!

      Greg

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