Did You Fall Off the “Bad Dating Habits” Wagon?

So….HABITS! Hmmpphhhh!

Habit’s can really be hard to break, right? Actually, they are quite painful, and in fact, bad habits are very stressful to one’s life.

HUGE life shortner.

If you’re a smoker, you’ve tried quitting countless times only to find yourself bumming just “ONE MORE – and that’s it” ciggy from a co-worker and BAM, you’re smoking again…

or

You’re trying to eat healthier, and you’re doing a great job, but every time something stressful hits you, it’s back to binge eating, take out and SUGAR!

We try so hard to do the best we can when it comes too doing healthier things, but beat ourselves up when we fail.

Really hard, huh?

Just an FYI – every time you make an attempt to change a habit and then mentally beat yourself up when you don’t follow through, you are actually creating a new habit and behavior; consistently NOT following through can become a habit itself.

Your brain already knows you not going to make it. So you don’t. We attempt so much to curb these habits. We wear a patch, take a pill and seek hypnosis. We go on diets, fast and quit cold turkey. We take a pill, see a shrink or do 12 Step programs.

What if I were to tell you that you are doing the exact same thing with the poor dating choices that you’ve been making over and over…AND over? Those are habits too, and changing them means replacing them with newer-healthier ones.

The big SECRET!

The secret has to do with what is going on in your HEAD every time you fall off the habit wagon. This is where it get really tricky and it will take some consciousness on your part and patience too.

I am not going to sugar coat this and tell you that it’s easy to change habits. For some yes, but for most habits are painful thorns in our butts.
Don’t I know it!

When it comes to dating and trying to change something that doesn’t work anymore, like, jumping into relationships so fast that they end in a painful break-up or having sex too soon or being highly reactive and emotional, you need to take a different approach.

I know, sometimes it can seem like you’ll be stuck with this dilemma for the rest of your life - so why bother? You promised yourself over and over that you would never do this again in your next relationship, but fall short after you made that commitment to love and cherish each other.

Then the cycle starts all over again!

It’s time to BREAK the cycle and change those habits! I am saying before you go into your next dating relationship; think about what you can do differently to make the experience the most beautiful, joyful and lasting and essentially conflict free or at least with less of it.

I’m not saying to be PERFECT. What I am saying is, that, every time you approach something you are trying to change, do so with an open mind and heart and just allow yourself to make a mistake without the critic hammering in your head; you will see each time getting easier and
easier, lighter and lighter. Your recovery time will be less and less.

So, guys, take this into your next dating experience, open your mind and your hearts and most importantly, BE KIND TO YOURSELF by BEING KIND to YOUR BODY AND MIND!

Until next time…

Your friend,
Greg Halpen

Greg Halpen is internationally known and recognized, author and speaker. He takes single gay men step-by-step from Lost, Confused, and Frustrated About Dating to Learning all the Skills They Need to Turn Their Love Life Around 100%”. www.TheGayGuysLoveCoach.com

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