Out in America Features» sex

Anthony Weiner Wanted Threesome With Another Man?

OIA Staff — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:30:53 +0000

Apparently former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner was interested in having a threesome with one of his various mistresses- one Traci Nobles- and a man. RadarOnline printed out an excerpt of a proposed tell-all book by Nobles that she is currently shopping around. They wrote that: “I’m not really talking about other chicks… How about [...]

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When you’re the “other” (wo)man – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 19:28:47 +0000

Dear Michael: I’ve noticed you give good advice to people in thorny situations, so here’s another one: I went to a party and met this guy, “Tom”. He was really cute and I liked him and we flirted and kissed and before I knew it we were at my house fucking like bunnies. So far, [...]

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What is “Love” Anyway? – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Thu, 05 May 2011 13:45:26 +0000

I love working with LGBT couples: they come to me, wanting to improve their communications, work out problems between them and deepen their love. In couples’ therapy, one of the most helpful things I do is to help a couple examine their definition of love. Specifically, we look at the difference between “Falling in Love” [...]

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Bring Back Romance – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 15:44:37 +0000

Dear Michael: I feel like I’m living in the wrong era: I want to be romanced, wined, dined…you know, wooed (I like that old-fashioned word). I’m only 24, but I don’t want quick hookups or fast sex. I want a courtship, where we slowly get to know each other. No sex right away, but yes [...]

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Monogamy or Open-Relationship? – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 14:00:28 +0000

As of this writing, same-sex couples can marry in some states of the USA and in some European countries. It’s wonderful that we have that option. However, this raises an interesting question: Now that we can get married: do we want to? Another question I hear a lot from my clients: “Whether we get married [...]

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Grindr Now on Android Devices

OIA Staff — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 13:45:22 +0000

Mobile app Grindr announced today that they’re expanding beyond just iPhones and BlackBerries to include Android devices. But why, asks someone who has never used it, is Grindr so popular? Knowing whom in your vicinity wants to hook up definitely cuts back on incessant messaging and headaches. Have you even used Grindr or similar app? [...]

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How to Fix a Saggy Sex Life – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 16:12:28 +0000

Dear Michael: I am in a 20-year relationship that, in general, is really good. The problem is that the sex has virtually disappeared, even though we both love each other a lot. We even went to a couple’s therapist but it didn’t do any good. The therapist didn’t want to talk about sex (he seemed [...]

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Am I a Sex Addict? – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 13:39:47 +0000

How do you know if you’re having a healthy amount of sex or if you’re overly focused (or even obsessed) with sex? Read on… Dear Michael: Last month I was in Washington D.C. and went to a bathhouse. There was a “counselor” there who was talking with people about sex addictions. It was weird having [...]

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What the Bible Really Says About Sex

OIA Staff — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 15:23:05 +0000

What does the Bible really say about sex? Two new books written by university scholars for a popular audience try to answer this question. Infuriated by the dominance in the public sphere of conservative Christians who insist that the Bible incontrovertibly supports sex within the constraints of “traditional marriage,” these authors attempt to prove otherwise. [...]

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When to Have Sex? – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 13:05:27 +0000

This is one of the most frequent questions I get from clients/readers who find themselves entering the dating world. This letter is typical: Dear Michael: I’m looking for a boyfriend, but not too seriously. I am enjoying great sex a lot of the time and meet most of these guys on-line. I think that having [...]

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Are You Faking It Just To Get Done With The Sex?

OIA Staff — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 16:07:13 +0000

I love when science makes me feel good about myself: “In a study of more than 200 college students, 25 percent of men and half of the women reported that they’d acted out an orgasm during sexual activity. The biggest motivation to fake it? Wanting sex to end without the awkwardness of hurting their partner’s [...]

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Love, Sex and Hollywood – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 17:41:13 +0000

If you’re a big fan of the movies, as I am, you’re more than familiar with Hollywood’s ideas of Love. In the movies, “falling in love” implies that we’re passive and helpless. It just kind of happens to you, if you’re lucky and all the planets are aligned just right. In real life, it doesn’t [...]

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New Survey: 8% Gay, 7% Lesbian

OIA Staff — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 18:47:36 +0000

In the “largest nationally representative study of sexual and sexual-health behaviors ever fielded,” a just-released survey commissioned by Indiana University says that 8% of adult American men self-identify as gay or bisexual, with 7% of women identifying as lesbian or bisexual. Those numbers are almost triple the percentages claimed by some anti-gay groups. VIA. Read [...]

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Spain breaks up male-prostitute trafficking gang

OIA Staff — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 14:53:40 +0000

Spanish police say that for the first time they have broken up a human-trafficking gang that brought men to the country to work as prostitutes, providing them with Viagra, cocaine and other stimulant drugs to be available for sex 24 hours a day… VIA. Read the full article @ Spain breaks up male-prostitute trafficking gang [...]

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‘Inception’ Star Tom Hardy admits he had gay sex

OIA Staff — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:52:34 +0000

A FILM hunk when asked if he had had gay sex said “Of course I have. I’m an actor for f^#k’s sake.” Tom Hardy, who stars alongside Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception, revealed he had a number of gay flings as a teenager. VIA Read the full article @ ‘Inception’ Star Tom Hardy admits he had [...]

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Feeling Fatherless – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 18:11:15 +0000

Some people have wonderful fathers and a great relationship. Others do not. I have a client who said that he has no relationship with his father. Another client told me, “When I came out as bisexual, my father basically disowned me”. Another client of mine, who came out as transsexual several years ago, has a [...]

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The Healthy Side of Internet Sex – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 13:00:50 +0000

There’s a lot of talk in the air about the pros and cons of Internet sex. The Internet has a lot to offer as far as “healthy sex” is concerned, e.g., we can arrange sexual hook-ups, see erotic photos/videos/webcams and engage in sexual conversations with other people. However, in the therapeutic world of psychotherapy, Internet [...]

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I’m Fat – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 16:41:18 +0000

Here is a recent email I received (with details changed for confidentiality): Dear Michael: I am 35 years old, 5’11” and I weigh 280 pounds. I’ve weighed this much most of my adult life. I know why, it’s no mystery. I love to eat. Food is my friend, my best friend. After dating other gay [...]

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Top/Bottom/Versatile – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:02:51 +0000

I was recently at a party where I was asked, “As a therapist, can you tell me why there are so many more bottoms than tops in the gay world? Well, some things may be eternal mysteries, but I’ll give the question my best shot. I can’t assume that this guy’s observations are accurate (and [...]

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Justin Long And Mike White Team Up For “Make Homosexuals Marry” Campaign

OIA Staff — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 17:34:00 +0000

The folks behind this video wanted to show that marriage is marriage regardless of the sexuality of its inhabitants. Their campaign, “Make Homosexuals Marry,” was created to “keep the ‘No on 8′ debate active in hopes that, through humor, a dialogue continues,” said writers/directors Will Speck and Josh Gordon. [ via ] Read the full [...]

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Women Engage in Barebacking at Higher Rates Than Gay Men

OIA Staff — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 15:10:04 +0000

For all the flack gay men get for their sexual antics, it turns out the ladies have them beat for an oft-chastised but ever-present-in-porn act — barebacking. A recent survey by the New York City Department of Health found that women are significantly less likely to require their male partners to use condoms during anal [...]

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How to change your life – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 13:15:19 +0000

In my private practice, a lot of clients come to me and complain about disappointment. Disappointment with their new job, new lover, new home, new diet. Self-help books make it sound so easy to make major changes in our lives. But is it? How often have you heard someone say, “Hey, it’s time for a [...]

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Mr. Faithful – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 17:00:25 +0000

I’d like to share an email with you, as I think that the writer has some interesting ideas to consider: Dear Michael: Why is there so much emphasis on sex in the gay community? I was in a long-term relationship that recently ended. I was faithful to my boyfriend and (to my knowledge) he was [...]

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Circumcision may not cut HIV spread among gay men

OIA Staff — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 19:09:56 +0000

Although studies in Africa have shown that circumcision can lower the spread of HIV among heterosexuals, it may not do much to prevent infections among gay and bisexual men in Western countries, a new study suggests… [ via Reuters ] Read the full article @ Circumcision may not cut HIV spread among gay men Read [...]

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Democrat Eric Massa To Retire for “Health Reasons” Amid Allegations of Sexual Harassment

OIA Staff — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 19:38:13 +0000

Politico is reporting that Representative Eric Massa is retiring at the end of this particular year. Why he is retiring is unclear, though he has stated that it is for health reasons. Unfortunately, his announcement comes at a time when he is being accused of sexually harassing a male member of his staff. [ via [...]

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Condoms for children, Swiss government produces extra small condoms for boys as young as 12

OIA Staff — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 17:57:45 +0000

Extra small condoms for boys as young as 12 are going on sale in Switzerland after a sexual health group campaign. Called the Hotshot, the condom has been produced after government research showed 12 to 14-year-olds did not use sufficient protection when having sex. The study, conducted on behalf of the Federal Commission for Children [...]

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Wisconsin’s Teen Facebook Predator Gets 15 Years For Blackmail and Sexual Favors

OIA Staff — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:07:24 +0000

Tony Stancl, a Wisconsin teen accused of luring male classmates into performing sexual favors for him by pretending to be a girl, messaging them on Facebook, getting them to expose themselves via text message pics, and then blackmailing them with the X-rated photos. There were at least 30 victims. Stancl is now 19 and was sentenced [...]

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John Edwards Has a Sex Tape and a Big Dong

OIA Staff — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:25:09 +0000

Sources have told us that, in the throes of their affair, John Edwards and Rielle Hunter made a sex tape that contains “several sex acts.” And that his aide, Andrew Young found it on an unmarked DVD. The tape, say both our sources, is explicit and reveals that Edwards “is physically very striking, in a [...]

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Lesbians Are Only Now Being Advised to Get Screened for Cervical Cancer-Causing HPV?

OIA Staff — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:20:42 +0000

If you’re a human being, of any gender or sexual orientation, new research suggests you should be screened for HPV. That’s because whether you’re a straight man or woman, or a gay man, or even — a new study indicates — a lesbian woman, you’re a risk for contracting the virus. And if you’re a [...]

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Michigan Secretary of State Candidates Top Priority is To Stop Trans People from Transitioning

OIA Staff — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:57:56 +0000

Paul Scott (R-Grand Blanc) is running for the GOP nomination to be the next Secretary of State in Michigan. He has made stopping transgender people from changing their sex on their license part of his four most important priorities. “I will make it a priority to ensure transgender individuals will not be allowed to change [...]

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Self-Love: life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 19:43:30 +0000

I have clients who tell me that it’s painful for them to walk down the street and see all those happy LGBT (or straight) couples. “It makes me feel so lonely and unwanted”, they say. When you’re single, and people around you “appear” (and I use that word deliberately) to be much happier than you, [...]

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Shocking Tiger Woods Gay Sex Scandal!?

OIA Staff — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:43:37 +0000

When you give a tramp a book deal for $1 million, all kinds of crap starts to fly. We’re not sure what number she is (we lost count after the 75th VIP cocktail waitress), but one of Tiger Woods’ many whores, Loredana Jolie Ferriolo, has landed herself a book deal. To ensure that it sells, Loredana [...]

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Did You Fall Off the “Bad Dating Habits” Wagon?

OIA Staff — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:20:35 +0000

So….HABITS! Hmmpphhhh! Habit’s can really be hard to break, right? Actually, they are quite painful, and in fact, bad habits are very stressful to one’s life. HUGE life shortner. If you’re a smoker, you’ve tried quitting countless times only to find yourself bumming just “ONE MORE – and that’s it” ciggy from a co-worker and [...]

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Can You Buy Happiness? – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:00:05 +0000

Please consider the following question: “Do we see ourselves as people with aspirations of patience and empathy towards our brothers and sisters or – instead – as consumers who are entitled to the best stuff this world has to offer, so we’d better get out there and get as much of it as we can?” [...]

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Carrie Prejean Flips Out On CNN’s Larry King

OIA Staff — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:55:55 +0000

[Homophobe] Ex-Miss USA Carrie “Ladyfingers” Prejean Flips Out On CNN’s Larry King – Pulls Microphone Out, Refuses To Answer Sex Tape/Settlement Questions, Refuses To Take Gay Caller’s Question. [ YouTube ] Read the full article @ Carrie Prejean Flips Out On CNN’s Larry King Read more articles @ our blogBecome a fan on FacebookFollow us [...]

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Sex tape forced Carrie Prejean to settle pageant lawsuit

OIA Staff — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:35:12 +0000

As you know, making a sex tape is a condition of becoming a celebrity. Even for nice religious girls. According to TMZ.com, Carrie Prejean demanded more than a million dollars during her lawsuit-settlement negotiations with the Miss California USA Pageant, that is, until the lawyer for the pageant showed Carrie an X-rated home video of [...]

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Chinese Media Finger Swedish Lesbian Enclave

OIA Staff — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 16:36:52 +0000

Chinese media have confirmed what we in the West suspected all along: that concealed in the northern Swedish woods is a city of 25,000 women, many of whom have turned to Sapphic love to satiate their natural Scandinavian sexual desires. According to news agancy Xinhua, the all-female enclave is called “Chako Paul City”, and was [...]

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Falling vs. Standing In Love – life beyond therapy

OIA Staff — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:04:39 +0000

I love working with LGBT couples: they come to me, wanting to improve their communications, work out problems between them and deepen their love. In couples’ therapy, one of the most helpful things I do is to help the couple examine their definition of love. Specifically, we look at the difference between “Falling in Love” [...]

Read the full article @ Falling vs. Standing In Love – life beyond therapy

Good Boys and Bad Boys

OIA Staff — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 17:13:47 +0000

In the past few months, I’ve seen quite a few clients who find that their balance is off. The balance I am talking about the balance between excitement and safety, unpredictability and predictability…between being a “Good Boy” and a “Bad Boy” (women readers, feel free to consider it your “Good Girl/Bad Girl” balance…the ideas are [...]

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Slower Is Better

OIA Staff — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 16:00:13 +0000

Are you afraid to slow down? Do you think only stupid people go slowly? You’re not alone. Why do we rush so much? What do we think we’re achieving? Is happiness basically a numbers game – whoever does the most stuff wins – or a matter of quality? Have you ever rushed yourself so much [...]

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Balancing Your Heart, Mind and Junk

OIA Staff — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:49:36 +0000

Testosterone: when you put two gay/bi/trans (GBT) men together, you’ve got lots of it. Is this why we GBT men are often accused by hetero society of putting too much emphasis on sex? Is it true that GBT guys have a lot more sex than straight guys do? If so, is it because we can, [...]

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Doggie Style: Sex Toys for Your Pooch

OIA Staff — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 18:32:57 +0000

What will come next in the world of pet toys… sexy-time ones of course. The DoggieLoverDoll is a sex toy for male dogs. It seems to be real, and it’s also not the first of its kind. The DoggieLoverDoll faux female features a silicone vagina and an (ew) “easy to clean reservoir.” [ Boing Boing [...]

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Are You Double Dipping?

OIA Staff — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:14:00 +0000

I remember a little while back someone emailing me wanting some advice on how you can tell when someone you’re dating is seeing other guys and having sex with them too. Hey, I know the drill….you’re starting to feel good about him, your connecting in amazing ways, you don’t use your teeth when you’re giving [...]

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